Five Star hotels vs Hostels

I am seriously considering moving into a hostel tonight - certainly tomorrow. Five star hotels are all very well if you want to have luxurious sex and room service champagne but they suck balls if you're in a country where you know nobody. I didn't even meet anyone on the plane over as I was in glorious luxurious isolation in the business lounge. But now I think I am about ready to go stay in a shitty hostel and meet some people and get drunk and have a laugh and SPEAK to someone since I am going a little stircrazy with all this bowing and monosyllabic politeness and saying "crab" at the end of every sentence to be polite. And HEY if I meet someone hot we can ditch the hostel and go have luxurious sex and room service champagne and I can put a new spin on the ball sucking aspect.